Stressed, Depressed, but Well Dressed

This holiday I feel more stressed than usual. It's not like I'm not enjoying my holiday, but there is something I can't stop think about. Yes. It's about my grades last semester.

I admit it, I didn't do well last semester. Instead of doing things right, I felt like I screwed up almost everything. School subjects, especially merancang was the hardest part of my life. I'm not even joking about merancang. It was like buah simalakama, you go forward and you'll screwed up, or you go back but you'll be left behind.

I wish architecture was as easy as construct a building using Lego bricks set.
And no, this post isn't sponsored by Lego.

Long story short, the holiday came and I had a dream about nggak lulus merancang. After I dreamt that, I became aware that I might getting stressed and I read signs of stressed people. There was a point saying that stressed people might lose weight without them trying hard. And I was shocked because I checked my weight and I lose without even trying. Am I really stressed?

Architecture and merancang doesn't let me live my normal life.

Of course, there is time where I felt better but today, I got another fucking mental breakdown, again. Maybe it was my bad that I didn't do things well and asal pilih kepanitiaan which led me to my maximum breakdown and getting tired. I felt bored of things, jenuh, and I was too fucking tired. I need some fucking recreation in which my family can't really do that because my family condition isn't fucking good. It doesn't end like that. There was still much bigger, harder pressure I had to bear: competition in studio. I understand I wasn't the best student with best grade. Sometime it is fun and good to be in a same class with these smart-ass people, but it also increasing the goddamn standard of how hard we should work and blahblahblah. The point is: I am fucked up.

How about sobbing architectural-ly since I'm an architecture student?

Yeah, maybe when all the results are out I'll sob uncontrollably, gross, dramatically and hysterically while I'm wearing fancy clothes or at least cool clothes. I need to dress well even if I'm sobbing, right?

Drink wine while sob? Sassy (or classy?).

Sob like Leo DiCaprio?
Maybe I'll get Oscar instead of good scores.

When I try to say something but can't stop crying.

So, yeah, I hope my scores are not bad, nilai mepet pun aku rela :') I'll be the happiest person in the world if I pass and then I'll walk out of the place like this.

Feel it, bitch.