A Little Bit More

Wow it's been a long time I didn't write since last June. I guess I was too busy with things and kinda lose the ideas to write?

By the way, November is almost end, and, well, in 2 days we'll be in December which means there will be Christmas and it will be raining much more than November. November rain is just the beginning, guys. And no, that wasn't a preference to Guns N' Roses.

The end of November also means that I'll have this upcoming final evaluation on my architecture design in school. This is suck, but I really need to do my best (and I'm trying not to have any fucking breakdowns in between) so I can pass this one. I don't want to do it again next year because, fuck this shit.
(note: if you're an architecture lecturer of mine, please don't mine the swearing words, it was just how I feel right now about the upcoming evaluation ._. )(I bet you swear this much too when you were in your uni days, especially when it's near evaluation hehe).

Um, I guess that's all I wanna talk about  this time. I really need to go back doing the fucking homework :p

Bye, see you next post, dearie!

Seeking For Love: Not That Easy, Dude!

Love.
It is a strong word, and it does affect how the way we look toward things in this world. And talking about love, I'm going to talk about how it feel like to be in love as you grow older.

As a kid, I used to dream about having a cute boyfriend and a romantic relationship with a guy I love. And believe it or not, I used to told boys I liked back then that I liked them. And then my relationship (under the context friendship) is getting awkward. Needless to say that I was just a kid and I didn't know anything about love, I (and those boys) misunderstood love with this thing called "like", and to be honest, I was pretty much affected by shoujo mangas that showed me that girls can confess too.

Also, you can deny to believe it but I had 8 exes. No, I didn't collect them for love but yes, mostly I do collect them just for having fun and some are for what I thought was "love". I am proudly say that in my junior and high school days, I was easily get boys and I don't fucking now why. Sadly, it is only my junior and high school days. I seriously have no boyfriend for these 2 years thanks to university life and my punk style that is too perfect for ya mainstream peasant boys out there. Nah, just kidding, it's all because university life only. And probably I do over-fucking-qualified for mainstream boys.

To be honest, I had a crush to this boy in uni that always makes me act weird anytime he appear somewhere around me.
Detail: 2 years, since the first time I saw him on ospek kuliah a.k.a love at the first sight.
More detail: I'm almost done with my 2nd year in uni, so it means I'm going to be a 3rd year uni student.
Another detail: I'm getting intrigued by myself, is it really love, am I obsessed, or just a crush?
So, yeah, you know, I waited for a long time and these days, I can see it won't happen, so I decide to move on for ever, for good.

Not long after, I met another guy. I won't give you detail but after the meeting, I know it is too early, but there is something I feel. Have you ever felt something so strong but you're not sure what is it, and that feeling is just resonating through your mind, like your instinct, your unconscious mind is trying to tell you that there is something good that will happen to you the moment you met someone for the very first fucking time? Because that is what I feel these days, it is quite scary and weird because I never felt something like this before. I feel like it is a sign, leading to something but I don't know what is it. And I'm afraid if I hoping too much. I panicked for 4 days straight now. More panicked when I see a video of him singing, it's on youtube. He seriously has a good voice, wait, no, he has an amazing voice I would like him to sing me a serenade every night before I sleep. Wait, what the fucking fuck have I done?

This make me think, if it is love, then, I really want to be in love, but I do scared of falling in love. Although I'm a hopeless romantic, I admit it, it is hard for me to truly fall in love with someone. Once I fall for someone, it will not work out as I imagined it to be. It makes me feel insecure about all aspects of myself, all the time. And I come to this conclusion I made - I don't even love myself, so how can I keep falling for other who also don't love me? I am also scared to death if I have to be broken again, I'm quite broken right now, so why fall in love just to be broken for one more time?

This probably sounds weird for you to read this from a 19 years old, and I, myself feel weird to told you about thing that you may knew before I do. As I grow older, I realised one thing for sure: falling in love as an adult is not as easy as I thought. It gets harder to fall in love with someone, and it is harder to let go of your pain. And when you're in love as an adult, you know for sure when to stop, when to move on. You decide it. You decide to move on and although it is hard, you know you'll be okay. And I realised that I don't want to play love game anymore even though I'm not ready (and probably not wanting) a marriage right now. I want a long term relationship because I'm tired of playing.

So, that's all I can say right now. See you guys on my next post :")

Random Rants About Family

So, we all know that Lunar New Year or what Indonesian people said is Chinese New Year is a time of the year when a big family are gathering together, doing stuffs and talking, and so on. Also, the most common things that happened is giving angbao (or hongbao) to children and young people who are still single.

For an instant information, I am a mixed blood, my ancestors from dad's side are Chinese (which is probably the reason why my dad's family's eyes are quite small lol) and my mom's side is Javanese. I should be at least pretty because they said mixed babies are the cutest but why am I not?

Well, what I want to say is, even though I don't like, and by I don't like I mean I hate being a Chinese descendant, but I do want to have a family gathering like my friends do. I honestly envy them so much. For me, it feels soooo unfair. My friends kept getting those fucking red packages every fucking Chinese New Year, and the most important of all is that family gathering thingy that I my family never had again since I was in junior high. Or maybe since I was in my 5th grade. Or whatever time is that, I never got it anymore.

*speaks to self*
Talking about Chinese New Year, it is also about family gathering, right? And here we go: these people will read about me ranting about things (un)related to Chinese New Year things.

Oh wait, it is actually related because I will tell you this about my family. This doesn't mean that I can't keep my mouth shut but it is because I only need a place to rant.

Somehow, there is some embarassment in myself everytime I see my friend uploading their Chinese New Year event with their family. I feel embarassed because why can't my family having some gathering like this? I guess they are busy with their shits they forgot that their family is not only them with their sons or daughters but also bigger part of the family. The only time my family can really meet is when there are a birthday party or someone's wedding. BUT STILL, NOWADAYS, IT IS NOT ALWAYS LENGKAP. I am in rage now. Oh god, I am really angry and sad at the same time.

More sad because I know there will be rants from kids who said "angpaoku cuma dapet sekian" while that sekian means Rp 300.000-500.000,00. Hey kids, that's so unfortunate of you that you only got those.

About family itself, I grow up believing that the family from dad's side will always be okay and I used to have this expectation. Until one day, I grew up and realised that I was so stupid for believing things like that. I even believe that sometimes you can't and you know you don't trust one side of your own family. My trust for them is fading away from year to year. It has big effect on my relationship with them. I used to be okay and I used to be a friendly-to-family kind of person, and now I am not that kind of person anymore. It's all because I rarely meet them. I am closer to my mom's side for sure.

If you are my family and reading this, please know that:
1. I don't like some of you, if I feel that you are okay, then you should be proud of yourself for making this little whiny bitch feel fond of you (even if it's not really but at least you know I don't hate you).
2. Even though I don't like most of you, but you are my family and since I am stuck here with you please make a regular family gathering because you already know why.
3. If you understand this but you don't give any explanation of why we still don't have any family gathering things, you are an asshole.
4. If you already make one and it's not complete, well, then, please usahain lah ya, masa ga mau ketemu keluarga sendiri? Duh!
5. I really like you guys I probably will say fuck you with a smiley face (or is it better with a  smirk or no expression instead of some plain smile?) to any of those who I don't really like :)

Last, I'm not sorry for saying a lot of sarcasm to you. I'm in the mood for it. Don't need to feel bad for me, feel bad for you, okay.

Happy Chinese/Lunar New Year!

Stressed, Depressed, but Well Dressed

This holiday I feel more stressed than usual. It's not like I'm not enjoying my holiday, but there is something I can't stop think about. Yes. It's about my grades last semester.

I admit it, I didn't do well last semester. Instead of doing things right, I felt like I screwed up almost everything. School subjects, especially merancang was the hardest part of my life. I'm not even joking about merancang. It was like buah simalakama, you go forward and you'll screwed up, or you go back but you'll be left behind.

I wish architecture was as easy as construct a building using Lego bricks set.
And no, this post isn't sponsored by Lego.

Long story short, the holiday came and I had a dream about nggak lulus merancang. After I dreamt that, I became aware that I might getting stressed and I read signs of stressed people. There was a point saying that stressed people might lose weight without them trying hard. And I was shocked because I checked my weight and I lose without even trying. Am I really stressed?

Architecture and merancang doesn't let me live my normal life.

Of course, there is time where I felt better but today, I got another fucking mental breakdown, again. Maybe it was my bad that I didn't do things well and asal pilih kepanitiaan which led me to my maximum breakdown and getting tired. I felt bored of things, jenuh, and I was too fucking tired. I need some fucking recreation in which my family can't really do that because my family condition isn't fucking good. It doesn't end like that. There was still much bigger, harder pressure I had to bear: competition in studio. I understand I wasn't the best student with best grade. Sometime it is fun and good to be in a same class with these smart-ass people, but it also increasing the goddamn standard of how hard we should work and blahblahblah. The point is: I am fucked up.

How about sobbing architectural-ly since I'm an architecture student?

Yeah, maybe when all the results are out I'll sob uncontrollably, gross, dramatically and hysterically while I'm wearing fancy clothes or at least cool clothes. I need to dress well even if I'm sobbing, right?

Drink wine while sob? Sassy (or classy?).

Sob like Leo DiCaprio?
Maybe I'll get Oscar instead of good scores.

When I try to say something but can't stop crying.

So, yeah, I hope my scores are not bad, nilai mepet pun aku rela :') I'll be the happiest person in the world if I pass and then I'll walk out of the place like this.

Feel it, bitch.

Deathly Year

For me, 2014 is the year of death. Maybe it's not really like that, but I heard at least 4 death news and 2 missing plane news in a year. Oh okay, maybe not really a year but at least this year, that's what I know. But, you know, from suicide, illness, missing planes, you name it.

*sigh*

The hardest news to hear are the first death and the last missing plane. The first death was a suicide of a boy who were attending the same university as me. I know some things about him, even I don't know him personally, but I just can't stand suicide. Suicide is selfish, because you don't even think about how it will affect people who loves you. You never think about how it will leave any scars in another people's heart. And it's not worth to do. When you regret the choice, it is too fucking late to go back. You can't go back to life, you are not a fucking cat with 9 lives. We only live once.

And then this missing plane news. I don't want to be naive, most of them won't be safe. I knew and I had this bad feeling since the missing AirAsia news popped up on tv and any medias. It's quite weird, I didn't know what's this weird feeling until SAR team confirmed that they found the bodies and plane pieces floating on the sea. I almost cry right when I see the news. It is a heartbreaking news. Most of them are acquintances of my friends and, yeah, just like that, I can't explain it since it's a sensitive yet hard to explain.

I will say that I am sorry and I'm giving my deepest condolences to all these people, especially these people's families who lost their loved ones. It's really hard to lose them, I know.

May the souls find their way home, safe and sound.

Don't You Ever Dare It

Yesterday, I scrolled down through Facebook and I found this one picture that sums up every body's life: the never ending question asked by ignorant people including your whole family members (including your uncles, aunts, cousins, married cousins, and so on). The picture below is in Indonesian so I'll translate it to you.

Admit it, these are the most hated questions, either you're single or not.

1. Kapan kawin? = When will you get married?
2. Kapan punya anak? = Do you plan to have child soon?
3. Kasih ASI atau sufor/susu formula? = Which milk you give to your baby? Breast milk of formulated milk?
4. Kapan punya adek lagi? = Do you have a plan to get pregnant and having another child?
5. Ibu RT? Ga sayang sama gelar masternya? = A housewife? Don't you feel bad about your master degree?
6. Udah kerja sekarang? Ga kasian ninggalin anak-anak di rumah? = So you're working now? How about your kids at home?
7. Kapan mantu? = When will your children get married?

***

So, yeah, I can relate to those kind of questions. I'm not married, not yet, but as a youngster, I get a lot of people questioning do I already have a boyfriend or not. And those questions always been asked by my family. Yes, almost all family members I know since a I was a kid always asking me those questions.

Honestly, I feel so fucking sick about those questions. I am so naive if I say those questions are okay and not violate my privacy. Don't they know that it's actually violate my privacy? And, why the fuck do you want to know who's my love interest is. No, fellas, you will never know them and you will never really care about their background. Oh wait, you only care about his race and religion, are you? Then, don't you have something that is far more important than asking annoying questions like that?

If you let me be honest, I can brag about having a lovely boyfriend and talking shit about being in a relationship. But you better feel bad if it's a lie, a lie about having a lovely boyfriend and blahblahblah. Keep in mind that I don't care about your opinions and how you try to be a "part in my life by doing helpless things".

I may sound like a rude bitch here, but I want to make it clear that once you guys asking me about love-thingy, you'll get a very special treatment from me - the silent treatment. My cousin, she passed the phase, said that it really works. You don't want me to ignore you, don't you? If so, you know what to do. *insert smiley face here*

Ps: if you are a family member of mine and we don't meet so often, don't you ever dare to ask me questions like that and let me live my fucking life.

A Cheerful Gloomer

After 5 months without any water dropped from the sky, I feel so happy that last night I can hear the sound of rain. Ah, I feel relieved when I hear that sound because I already missed it like crazy. I don't really like summer since the sun is always burns my skin and the temperature in Surabaya is pretty hot. Surabaya citizen said it is like a living hell since it's sooooooo hot.

But, I'm not going to talk about how the sun hates Surabaya a lot (because he decides he will punish us for 5 months after rainy season by stand-by on the top of our heads and burn this city).

I'm going to talk about the feelings I always get in this kind of season.

On the top of all, I feel gloomy. As I write this post, I just realise that everytime the rainy season is on or everytime the season is almost over, my heart is always broken. No, it is not a fucking coincidence. I don't understand how can it happened? Like today, after the rain last night, a guy sent me a text saying that he will forget me. I'm all like, okay, because before he replied I said that we should move on and stay friends instead of something more than friends. We've developped our feelings but some problems just makes me slowly lose the feeling I used to have. Oh, you know that feel, right? Maybe we're not even boy and girlfriend since we never met in real life before, but, we all know that feel when we find someone who understand us but we know we should keep thinking about how things can be explained logically and hard times making the right decisions. That's why I keep turning down his "offer" for me because I need to walk on real life. And I think it's a lie if we both said that there's no broken heart or sad feeling.

Second, I think I'm probably a masochist. A sad-feeling-masochist, not the sexual-acts-masochist. I'm not into BDSM stuffs because how the fuck can you enjoy being tortured while having sex? ._. Wait, back to the main topic: I'm a sad-feeling-masochist. Actually the rain is the main cause of it. Whenever I cry I always wish that I'm just another cold hearted person in appearance. I always wish I can never cry anymore because all my feelings are gone. But in the end, I always back to reality: I'm only human, and if I have no feelings towards anything anymore, it means I can never make friends again, I can never know what happiness feels like. Believe me, you'll going to hear me rant about things more in rainy days instead of summer. For me, the rain is a friend to help me release my stress, yet he can't really wash all my tears away, but still, he calms me down, while the summer is a friend to help me gain my cheerful personality.

And the best thing about rainy season is... I can replay those old, memorable songs I always liked and have a nostalgic feelings. Also, I can keep play favourite songs without getting too bored of it. As I said earlier, I'm a sad-feeling-masochist, so by playing those songs, I can enjoy those feeling and choked on my tears. Uh. Also new songs that fits my music taste. Yes. I remember listening to Pierce The Veil for the first time, the song I heard was The Boy Who Could Fly, and it was rainy season. You know, I felt so happy because it was new for me, and when I heard the lyrics, the rainy day became a perfect day for me.

Well, that's just my story right now, about how I feel about rainy days/season. Personally, I'd like to call this season as gloomy season because the weather, the smell, and everything about this season always gets me right in my heart.

And I'd like to recommend songs by Ghost Town which is really good to hear in this season (or any season). I'll say it by the albums c:
1. Party In The Graveyard (I would say that Monster, Off With Her Head, I'm Wasted, Voodoo, and Dreamer are pretty heartbreaking in this album)
2. The After Party (not a gloomy album but hey, I'm Weird, Under Wraps, Black Moon, and I'm A Disaster are pretty good)
3. Unplugged (if you don't like the original version, then here's the acoustic version which is as good as the originals).

So, let me ask you a question: how do you feel every and what's your favourite song in rainy season? ^^

What Happened to Me in One and a Half Year

HI!

It's been a long time, a very long time since my last post in April 2013. It feels so good to know that I write here again after all this time. I really miss writing stuffs, either just telling stories or making poems. So I'm going to tell you what happened to me these one and a half year.

My feelings changed.
My clothing style is absolutely changed.
My mind? Same. It changed.
The only thing that hasn't changed is only my music taste.

But I'm glad to know that I'm changing. I'm not that girl you used to know before. My feeling is now more complicated. My style of clothing is *cough* cooler than I used to be in high school. And most of all, my mind on how I see the world.

I see things differently. I think that so many things are wrong in this world, especially in my country. I started to care about my country. I started to feel like there are another kid, another people seeking for help and love but they never find one. I know how it feel to be insecure all the fucking time because the media and society fed you up with their 'be yourself but you need to blahblahblah' bullshits. I'm not afraid of gays and lesbian people anymore. And I'm not going to question and laughs at those transgender. Maybe at first I'll question your sexuality and your orientation, but then I won't care at all. I'll just treat them as good as I can do. I want to do something worthy, something that can help people.

Well, that's what in my mind right now. I don't know what to say anymore, they're all just popped into my head in a sudden hehehe. Because, yeah, you know, time can change people, right? But I'll explain one by one another time.

Have a good day/night, people!

Hari Terakhir Sekolah?

H-3!!
Iya, dengan ini saya umumkan bahwa 3 hari lagi kami para pejuang berseragam putih abu-abu bakal menyelesaikan tugas terakhir kami di sekolah. Yoi, UNAS coy. Emang sih, awal-awal bulan ini sempet merasa sangat takut dan stress, tertekan banget dengan 4 huruf kapital penuh makna ini. Sampe sempet bikin singkatan UNAS jadi Ujian Nasional Amat Scumbag. Sekarang udah beda, jadi Ujian Nasional Amat Sukses. Amin deh aminn!!

By the way, hari ini hari ini terakhir aku dan temen-temen seangkatan sekolah. Bukan dalam arti harafiah sih, tapi dalam arti ini hari terakhir kami ngikutin pelajaran di sekolah. Hari Sabtu besok tetep masuk, tapi cuma persekutuan doa sama pembagian kartu peserta unas. Sementara itu hari Senin sampe Kamis, ke sekolah untuk ngikutin ujiannya.

Well, this last day of school, it should be used for studying. But much of us didn't. Bukannya serius belajar sih, tapi masing-masing anak kelas 12 keliling dari satu kelas ke kelas lain, buat sungkem sama guru-guru. Kita pengen minta restu sama mereka yang udah berjasa nganterin kita ke gerbang kelulusan *ceileh bahasanya*. Seru sih bisa keliling rame-rame, apalagi kelasku kelilingnya pas barengan sama salah satu kelas dari sektor IPS. Hahaha nggak karuan deh pokoknya. Di tiap kelas yang kami masukin, bayangin deh, normalnya satu kelas itu untuk 35-40 orang siswa. Tapi dengan kehadiran kami yang berjuang buat sungkem sama guru, alhasil kelasnya jadi bermuatan lebih dan....... jadi sesek, puanas, manusia dimana-mana. Hehehhe. Semacam arus kemacetan lalu lintas gitu deh.

Gimana pun serunya, tapi tetep satu hal yang bikin sedih. Kenangannya itu lho. Dan.. gokilnya. I think I have a good time with them, a really great good time! :') Bisa ketawa sepuasnya, guyon ga abis-abisnya. Dan kita selalu punya temen yang bener-bener ngasih kita support. Dan apapun perbedaan kita, kita juga masih bisa nerima mereka apa adanya. Katanya juga, ini yang ga bakal ditemuin di kancah perkuliahan, dengan orang-orang baru yang latar belakangnya udah jelas bakal beda, cerita berbeda, dan masih banyak hal lainnya yang aku sendiri belum tau seluk beluknya.

But, whatever will be, will be. May God be with me, you, and us who will face the national exam. Meskipun aku termasuk penentang garis keras untuk urusan ujian nasional, tapi aku kan posisinya sebagai warga sangat biasa aja (karena warga biasa udah terlalu mainstream), aku bukan pejabat yang berpemikiran cetek tentang kurikulum baru di bidang pendidikan ataupun pejabat berkelakuan hina dan kotor serta yeyek. Eh kok jadi nyindir ya? Haha what-e-ver. I'm gonna go through this exam and I'll pass this.

God bless all the 12th graders, semua yang di Indonesia! Good luck!!

Welcoming the 2013

Sebelumnya aku pengen ngucapin merry christmas and happy new year 2013 :D yah telat-telat dikit gak apa lah, yang penting niat ngucapinnya :p hehehe.

Wuah 2012 udah berakhir kawan, 2013 juga udah menghadang. Sementara itu libur gak kemana-mana dan bentar lagi bakal disibukkan sama kegiatan sekolah menjelang unas, ujian akhir sekolah, ujian praktek, dll. Oke, harusnya libur kalo nganggur di rumah gini masih nyempetin waktu untuk belajar, tapi balik lagi ke motto-ku : "libur ya libur, jangan dipake belajar", karena kalo belajar sama aja, kita nggak bakal menikmati waktu luang yang tersedia, trus jadinya malah tambah stress. Aaaaaaa tidaaaaak *malah stress sendiri*

Untuk tahun ini, kalo ditanya resolusi aku juga nggak bakal minta yang muluk-muluk :

1. Lulus sekolah & lulus dari ujian-ujian yang ada, mulai ujian praktek sampe Ujian Nasional Amat Sinting #ifyouknowwhatImean

2. Jadi lebih rajin & alim, mengingat udah mau lulus

3. Menjalani hidup dengan lebih bersyukur. Entah kenapa kalo aku nggak sreg sama sesuatu aku susah bersyukur. Jadi, aku emang harus lebih banyak belajar bersyukur.

4. Melepas status single alias mblo biar gak jadi obat nyamuk & biar gak galauan -____- #abaikan #jangandibaca

5. Rajin nabung biar bisa beli mini cooper #ehek #ngayal #inijugajangandibaca

6. Seabrek keinginan lain yang belum terpenuhi :p

Simpel kan? Hahaha oke, emag sih beberapa cuma ngayal, tapi gak apa deh, ngayal juga gak bayar kok :p hahahaha

Yeah yeah yeah, 2012 was such a beautiful memories, but we have to keep moving on. So, let's face the 2013. Wish it would be more nice & be more wonderful!

The Amazing Three ☺

Kalo ditanya, apa sih kesanku pas pertama kali masuk ke sebuah kelas, mungkin aku bakal jawabnya tergantung, kecuali kalo ditanya lebih spesifik gitu. Misalnya, suasana di kelas baru kayak apa, temen-temennya gimana, gurunya baik apa nggak gituu. Iya, terkesan susah adaptasi sih hehehe ;p

Tapi emang sih, aku ini orangnya yang termasuk agak susah beradaptasi, tapi tergantung suasana. Kalo kelasnya emang asik dari awal ya bakal asik sampe akhir. Kalo awalnya gak asik, bisa berakhir bahagia kok kayak kelas 11 kemaren. Well, di kelas 12 ini, yaitu 12-IPA3, aku banyak dapet temen-temen baru yang awalnya aku kira agak nge-gap-an gitu, tapi setelah berjalan sekian bulan, diitung dari bulan Juli sampe November ini, akhirnya aku bisa nyesuaiin diri dengan keadaan. Gak nyangka, aku yang tadinya ngira kelas ini kelas yang serius ternyata..... mboook alay narsisnya ampun deh.

Awal foto, Richard-Michael-Andre ikut nampang

Bareng Cecilnyan-Anita, Aldi niatnya ngumpulin pin tapi kejepret :D

Ketambahan Tine sama Richard :D

Ini foto bareng Ayam, tempat pensil-bolpennya Yohanes yang biasa kita panggil Y.O atau Ceng (dari kata Penceng :p)

Ayam maskot mulai nampang, kata Richard : "Saranghaeyoooo!"

Ada Felia, Lebah, sama Ayam

King Ayam's photo party

Properti paling lucu : tepak ayamnya Y.O, multifungsi loh :D

Foto ini mbuktiin kalo si Ayam lebih narsis daripada Lebah -_-

Udah, cukup segala per-ayam-an ini, kalo dilanjutin ntar kalah eksis akunyaa. Foto narsis lainnya :

Berasa keluar ingus :&

Gelembung hidungnya Cecilnyan

Berasa jadi raja minyak yo cha?

Dan, ditambah sedikit kenarsisan dari guru komputer kita, lebih tepatnya karena dipaksa buat ikutan foto sih.

Pak Dias gak tahan buat ikutan mejeng lol

Kepalanya molor semua tuh..

Bareng Rexy, temen curhat yang jago futsal, tendangan kaki kirinya manteb.

Rexy, Yonce nongol tuh

Apaan kok ada apinya gini -_-

Foto lainnya?

Bareng Kezia TFT :D

Ini Hadi, berasa jadi Ghost Rider gitu kali yah?

Efek yang agak aneh, ditambah dengan Hizkia dibelakang

Yak, itu lah sedikit cerita kenarsisanku bareng beberapa temen di 12-IPA3, kelasku yang sekarang. Temen baru, cerita baru, kenarsisan baru :p Kalo sempet nih ya, aku bakal bikin satu postingan tentang 12-IPA3. Mungkin gak cuma satu, bisa beberapa.

Dan terakhir, apa harapanku di kelas ini? Simpel aja : semoga bisa jadi kelas yang punya cerita untuk dikenang dikemudian hari, baik itu suka maupun duka☺

God Bless Us! :D

Sumpek Abis!!

Gak tau deh, akhir-akhir ini rasanya beban kok tambah banyak aja. Mungkin gara-gara makin capek jadi berasa punya beban banyak. Sekolah nggak kelar-kelar, pulang sekolah jam 2, masih lanjut bimbel sampe jam 3-an atau malah les sampe jam 5. Berasa di eksploitasi nih hahaha.

But yeah, kondisi badan emang udah mulai berubah. Mood juga jadi ikutan berubah drastis. Yang dulunya masih nyambung pas les sepulang sekolah, sekarang sama skali nggak nyambung. Buktinya beberapa dari ulanganku aja sampe jeblok, jadi kepala 6 mulu. Capek deh sungguan. Malah sampe sering ketiduran di sekolah.

Belum lagi masalah kelompok agama buat ujian praktek. Setiap kelompok kalo mau join sama kelompok lain bisa. Sialnya aku telat join kelompok, jadinya skarang bingung mau gimana. Hampir gak ada waktu buat survey dan ngelakuin kegiatan tetek bengek lainnya. I feel so damn bad.

Dan apesku nggak berhenti sampe situ aja. Rencana ke indie clothing expo di gramex gagal gara-gara sepupu yang tak ajak baru nyampe rumah jam 7-an. Mau berangkat kok udah jam 8, belum ntar kena macetnya bisa-bisa baru nyampenya jam 9. Shit, mana puas woy? Padahal udah ngidam pengen ke acara begini sejak setaun lalu :'(

Ditambah lagi urusan kuliah, karena aku semakin capek dan kebanyakan pikiran, jadinya ya agak terlantar sih. Ceritanya aku pengen ndaftar di salah satu universitas di Bandung, tapi karena makin kacau nih otak, jadi ya... mepet deh formulirnya. Padahal pendaftaran ditutup tanggal 17 November besok. Itu aja masih dibonusin kuliah gratis dari papa yang asli bikin pikiran makin kacau. Ujungnya? Ya makin galau lahh.

Dan semua hal diatas, aku cuma bisa mikir "mboh wes". Iya, keliatannya kayak orang putus asa, tapi aku emang udah mulai putus asa. Aku mulai capek sama yang namanya rutinitas. Hampir nggak ada waktu luang, otak dieksploitasi habis-habisan sampe akhirnya otakku sendiri kekurangan oksigen dan kecapekan. Jadi takut kalo suatu saat aku malah jadi pikun ato gampang lupa ato amnesia ato apapun itu cuma gara-gara kebanyakan mikir. Huh.

Akhir kata, MBOH WES, gak uyus. Yang penting ngeblog dulu biar otak gak sumfek. Byeee.